God Hates The Mets

This chick helps me ward off injury.

Sorry to break it to you Met fan, but God hates your team.  How else can you explain the injury situation?  For goodness sake, even Hawkeye and Hot Lips Hoolihan are thinking of coming out of retirement to help out this M.A.S.H. unit. 

Here’s the carnage:

Carlos Delgado (out since Apr 5) with hip surgery.  I will kindly refrain from the old man and hip jokes.  It’s just too easy.  I like a challenge.

Jose Reyes (out since May 16) with hammy issue.  Just had another MRI that revealed a ton of scar tissue that will continue to keep him out.

J.J. Putz (out since June 5) with elbow surgery.

John Maine (out since June 12) with “shoulder weakness”, which is a “weak” diagnosis if you ask me.  You might has well say he has “spaghetti arm”.

Carlos Beltran (out since June 22) with a knee problem.

Fernando Martinez (out since Jul 9) with knee surgery.

Fernando Nieve (out for season) with a hamstring that exploded like an M-80 while he was trying to cover 1st base.  Then just to add insult to injuries, God decided to replay that with a different actor.  Tonight Jon Niese’s (out for season) hamstring exploded like a bad fart after cheap Mexican food while…yep, you guessed it, trying to cover 1st base.

Luis Castillo (out since Aug 4) with an ankle sprain that he got walking down the dugout steps.  Uh, what?  Are you kidding me?  He hurt his ankle walking into the dugout?  If I were the Mets, I think I would have to come up with something a little more manly.  For Chrissake, just tell the media that he hurt it on the field somehow.  Save some face for the organization.

Gary Sheffield (reinjured tonight) hammy injury.  I don’t even have a joke here.  The Mets were not only playing with fire and injury when they picked up Sheff, but they were pouring starter fuel on the pile.  I don’t want to say they deserved this one…but, they deserved  this one.

Fantasy Take:  Stay away from the Mets altogether.  There are no firm return dates for any of these guys.  If they come back anytime soon, there isn’t enough season left for them to be any real help, and they probably will reinjure themselves.

The only Met who hasn’t received the injury bug this year has been David Wrght.  He obviously has made a deal with devil. Or God just really appreciates his own work with the lovely lady that David is with in that picture.